A self- realisation of happiness

Every month, as I sit down to write my next goal post, I consider how many people may be thinking that I’ve gone utterly insane. Making a to-do list for my interests and free time was strange to me at first, I’ll confess. Even though I don’t even come close to crossing everything off my list most months, it is obviously a strategy I feel is at least somewhat effective for me. In fact, throughout the month I pretty frequently return to the bulleted list. I do it because… What do I gain from it? Well, the answer is a little tricky because it performs a number of different functions for me.Years ago, I came to the conclusion that my biggest time management challenge wasn’t actually time management at all, but rather choice paralysis! Either I would mindlessly jump from one task to the other, never really doing much, or I would become fixated on something that, if I could not complete it for whatever reason, would prohibit me from accomplishing anything else worthwhile.It was extremely frustrating on a regular basis and frequently resulted in the dreaded punishment cycle, which I dislike even more than choice paralysis. See, I wouldn’t allow myself to accomplish much of anything else if I couldn’t focus or couldn’t focus on what I thought was the correct thing. Nothing constructive, pleasurable, or calming. I essentially put myself in a strange time out where only the most mindless activities were permitted. It was terrible.It took me longer to comprehend what I was doing and even longer to stop that pattern than I care to confess. I do catch myself sliding once in a while, but once I notice a pattern developing, I often look over my monthly project list and select something that feels manageable. I frequently get back on track by having a fast list of the things I want to do, or at the absolute least, get done.When tasks on a list are completed or abandoned, they typically end up in the nearest trash can. Instead, I maintain mine; it’s digital and online, yes, but I can always review what I’ve accomplished. Over the past few years, time has seemed to move quite strangely, and keeping a record of my life’s events has helped me stay grounded. It provides me with some structure, a way to track time, and something to look back on when I feel low about myself. In fact, I’ve found it valuable enough that I believe I’d retain something pretty similar in if I were to quit blogging for whatever reason.It also serves as a reminder for me to schedule time and space in my life for the things that make me happy. That it’s acceptable to have objectives other than those that help me achieve my predetermined goals, such as having a bigger home or earning more money. That it is ok to want things sometimes only for yourself